Home and day of MRI scan

 Violet and Daddy meeting some of the OSU mens basketball players who came to visit the oncology patients.  Such sweet guys, Violet refers to them as friends anytime she sees this pic.

 Cuddling with her baby, and visiting with our dear friend Cindy Bish.  We LOVE Cindy

 Violet, Mommy, our sweet friend and fellow oncology patient Sam and the Columbus Blue Jacket players who are Violets new friends.  Love her face in this pic.

 My sweetest, cuddly girl.

 Art therapy, painting with spaghetti.  She always amazes me with her artist talent.

 She has Daddy wrapped around her little finger, she talked him into pushing her around in her baby doll stroller.  So funny

 We adore the nurses on the 12 floor.  Violet is so into her dolls.   The nurses took her dolly down to the nurses station and all put masks on and performed "surgery" on doll, as Violet looked on to give her "tubies" just like Violet has.  Violet was BEYOND thrilled that her doll looks just like her, and she can care for her baby while they are caring for her.  So impressed with the care and love of all of our nurses.

These are the children of a very dear friend who lives in Dubai.  They did a cancer run as a family and carried a sign they made in honor of our Violet.  Violet has GLOBAL support.  I am moved beyond words.

We were released Sunday morning from the hospital after a 17 day admission, for round three.  Violet was so excited to put her regular clothes back on and her sparkly twinkle toe shoes.  She danced down the hallway out of the hospital singing about going home.  The third round went fairly well, although for whatever reason as I mentioned before I think it was very emotionally hard for me.   But, we are half way thru!!!!!  Only three more rounds to go.

We are so loving being at home.  We sleep with the windows in our bedrooms open at night, and Violet sleeps so peacefully in her bed, almost 12 hours a night.  We have had lots of play time outside, lots of walks and exploring.  Loving the warmer weather.

Today we went back to the hospital for a very detailed brain and spine scan.  I was a nervous wreck.  Violet hasn't had a detailed scan since before brain surgery.  I knew this was a big day, as I knew they wanted to make sure the brain tumor wasn't returning, and that they had really gotten it all out in the first place, it was another make or break day.  Because the scan is so detailed it takes two hours to complete.  So Violet needs to be sedated, which meant she wasn't allowed to eat anything last night or today.   We got up to the hospital early this morning to go to clinic to make sure her blood counts were stable enough to do the MRI.  Her counts were good, and she was so cooperative and pleasant for a little girl who woke up way too early and had a completely empty stomach.  After we got the all clear there we went down to the surgical prep area, and checked in.  We put her back into the hospital gown and waited.  She fell asleep in my arms and shortly after, they came to take us down to MRI.  Anyone who has any dealings with Childrens knows that nothing is ever on time.  We ended up waiting for her MRI for an hour and a half.  She started to really lose it, rightfully so, as she was exhausted and starving.  I was beside myself with worrying and exhausted from trying to keep her happy and entertained.  They finally came to take her and I just can't describe that feeling, of handing her over.  It is one of the worst parts of this.  But, they took her back and put her to sleep and Charlie and I went to get some food.  I was sobbing, almost sick.  And my amazing Momma showed up to support us.  We all had lunch together and waited to hear that she was done and in recovery.  It was another day I'm not sure I could have made it thru without my Mom.  She is amazing and I am so grateful.  After about two and a half hours we went and waited with all the other basketcase parents in the surgical waiting area.  As soon as she started to wake up they took us back to her.  There she was my strong, brave little princess in her cage bed, sound asleep, snoring softly.  They told us that she was still pretty tired and just to let her rest for awhile longer.  She was all wrapped up in snuggly blankets and looked so sweet.  We did our best to leave her alone, but after about twenty minutes the nurses gave us permission to talk to her and try to rouse her a bit.  She opened her eyes but they were crossed and she was still pretty out of it, I stepped into her line of vision and said, "Hi girlfriend, it's momma, I'm here"  She immediately tried to sit up and reach for me.  Melted my heart.  I picked her up and we all loved on her and kissed on her and then the nurse came into check on us.  She called up to let our oncology doctor know we were running WAAAAY late to our appointment with her to go over the MRI results.  Then the phone in our room rang, know let me take this oppurtunity to go back a step.  The day Violet was diagnosed was by far the worst day of my life, it was horrifying.  I took Violet up to childrens for a ct scan and NONE of us thought that it was going to result in anything, it was just a precaution.  So, I drove her up there, and they did a super fast ct scan.  I picked her up and told her we could go home and take a bath and get lunch now, and the technician said, if you can just follow me back here you have a phone call.  So, I ignorantly followed her back with Violet in my arms and there was a phone ringing.  I answered it with a smile and said hello, on the other end was our pediatrician.  She said immediately "I'm so sorry, Violet has a massive brain tumor, she is in serious danger I am sending a neurosurgeon to you right now."  I was DEVASTATED, and to say I was shocked was a huge understatement.  So today, waiting in that little room holding my girl, when the phone on the wall rang, I immediately got a HUGE pang of terror, I got an instant headache and started shaking.  Charlie answered it and said the doctor wants to know if it's okay to give results over the phone.  I could barely speak, I was so afraid Charlie was going to have that same moment of having our lives change forever AGAIN over a phone call.  This whole experience has made me hyper aware.  I scan faces and evaluate tones in voices in a millisecond.  I was studying Charlies face and body language immediately, I looked at my mom shaking and scared and said "this is really bad, it's bad, I know it's bad"  Charlie looked up at us and said "doctor says the brain and spine look good"  Anyone who REALLY knows Charlie knows....he is mellow....like scary mellow and pretty hard to read most of the time.  He was on the phone after that for what felt like ages, with no facial expression what so ever.  Just nodding and saying yes, I understand.  He hung up and said that the doctor said the scan came back clean, that there was a pocket of fluid where the tumor had been, that they are going to continue to monitor, her brain is still healing and trying to figure out what to do with the void that the tumor left, but that Violet looked good.  YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! I could have danced allll the way home.  We got her dressed and we walked back to the parking garage outside per my request.  I feel like today is the first time I really felt the sun again.  So tremendously relieved and grateful.  Violet is sleeping now.   I think we will all sleep well tonight.

I want to say yet again, how grateful we are.  To all of you.  I could never dream of getting thru this without all the love and support.  Thank you to our dear friends who have brought over food, it helps so much more than you realize.  Thank you for sharing our story, thank you for caring, for the prayers and well wishes, thank you for the donations, without which we wouldn't have gas to get V to the hospital for her appointments, or food.  Thank you so much to our families.  I am so moved by all the love and encouragement we have gotten.  I can't wait till Violet is older so that I can help her understand how loved and cared for she is.  Tonight we are so very grateful, for a clean scan and for all the love we have in our lives, and mostly for all of you.  Thank you soooooo much, lots of love.